Could You Beat These Animals in a Fight?

We’re settling the ultimate guy debate: from the viral "100 guys vs. 1 gorilla" argument to the animals you secretly think you could take in a fight, we’re tier-ranking nature’s deadliest predators to see whose confidence is actually delusional.

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Transcript

Viral Animal Fights Set The Stage

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I can beat the shit out of a champion. No. He's gonna piss it off. I'm pissed off that. This chimp ripped the door off a police guard.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

I'm gonna beat the shit out of that champion.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

I don't know about that, man. That mother.

Dirty Soda Baja Blast Meltdown

SPEAKER_02 0:16

So recently there's been a ton of videos going viral on the internet of people wrestling legitimate full-grown animals. I'm talking grizzly bears. There's a dude that's like ramming his ram in different costumes. It's getting absolutely out of control. And it reminded me of the boys of the glorious moment in history, which was probably like a year ago, when the entire internet was debating on whether you could fight a gorilla, a silverback gorilla. And so today we're gonna dive into these viral videos to see if they're legit or not. See what animals we think we could beat in a fight, um, and then get to ranking as we do on every episode. But before we do that, Sam, I feel like I need some nourishment here. Do you have anything for Sam's snack segment today? I absolutely absolutely do.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

This will provide the the necessary sustenance your body needs to live. God what? This is a this is a special limited run at the Taco Bell. They're actually, they're not just conventional. That's the sugar-free one. They're not conventional Baja Blasts, they're they're dirty soda Baja Blasts. I don't know whether or not you're familiar with a dirty soda. Very big in Utah.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Why did I get a purple one?

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Well, you got I was gonna offer you, do you want the OG or the midnight purple? Give me the midnight purple. I actually do want the There we go. I knew you. What the hell is this? So it's a Baja Blast with cream in it, like like coffee creamer. What? This is this is real big, yeah. There's a big ware with like Utah. The Mormons, the Mormon housewives, they're down in the world.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Bro, get the get the I I'm trying not to curse this, Mike. Get this out of here. Joe, no, you guys. There's no way you guys are drinking. This is a joke, right? It's sugar free. No, this is real. Wait all that breakfast. Wait, people drink this? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hold on. This is not a joke. No, this is real. This is real. The dirty subject.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

People put cream and pop and drink it. It's actually not terrible. I've never tried it. What's the name of the place they go to?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

It's like Swiz or something? There's not a there's not a part of my body right now, my existence, my one-legged existence here. I am so disappointed in the human race. Oh no. This is this is the we're at the bottom, guys. Wait. We're at the bottom of human existence.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

If this is what it's come to. Swig. Swig. Yeah, look up swig. That's an everyone's call.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

I am infuriated. Now give it a try. This is the stupidest shit I've ever heard. I've heard you say you would try anything once. No. Go ahead. No, and I've never said that.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

I don't like how it looks.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

No, I'm not putting that in my separated out of there's no way that's real milk. This is unbelievably deplorable and despicable.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Wow. This is like people who make content on their water and put a bunch of stuff in their water to not make it water. I mean, this shouldn't exist.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

I think you're gonna regret not trying this. It's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

I don't care if it's good. I'm not putting cream in anything.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

It tastes like Baja Blast was made in like an old-timey soda shop. That's what I'm getting from this.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Why does this exist? It's actually like not as Why do people keep putting random garbage things? I don't think it's that crazy about it. That's not a crazy.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

That's actually there at it. There's probably some protein in the cream, right? Healthy fats that your brain needs.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

There's nothing healthy about cream. Come on. Cream is like the least healthy thing you can get from a cow.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

If you were You're better off eating pure cow fat. If you were well, it's not the pure cow fat, but the processed cow fat. If we can't get the pure cow fat, we'll we'll gladly take the processed cow fat.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

We've reached the bottom, boys.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

We've reached the bottom.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

I don't think it's a bad thing. I thought the problem with coffee and all the shit people put in it was the bottom. This is the bottom. Be better. Get that out of my face. Sean.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

This is a limited edition item.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

You may not get a chance to get it. Taco Bell, be better. Hold a better standard, Taco Bell. McDonald's coming out with that.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

That's a stretch. Asking the Bell to do that.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

No, the Bell came back last year on a rampage. If you saw the keynote of their CEO, all kinds of better ingredients, new, fresher items, trying to not literally serve people dog food, and then you serve them dog piss. Why? Why? My clothes. Why? You know you're bored as hell and you do.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Why not?

SPEAKER_02 4:37

That's the question we need to ask. Oh, you know what? You know what would be better to put in your next diet soda? What's that? Gasoline. We should try that.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Why not just put any liquid we can think of?

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Let's go diesel.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Why not? Sure. Kerosene. I will say this is my closing statement. You made the statement before with your truck, for example. I was like, oh, why you lift this thing? You're like, well, that's the way I want to drive my truck. This is the way some people want to drink their soda. A little cream, little syrup, you know, spice it up a little bit. It's a literal mod.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Sugar bomb that is terrible for you.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

At the start.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Then you're like, let's add some sugar syrup, but let's add some creamer. Why? Just it's like a thawed root beer float without root beer or ice cream.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Okay, well, whenever someone makes like a mixed drink or something, you know, they're obviously making the alcohol even more.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

At least you're getting drunk. This is you're just getting fat. Well, you're just literally giving yourself cancer and getting fat.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

We don't know if this causes cancer. 100%! We don't know that. Can you move your drink?

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Everything in pop and creamer causes cancer. I'm going out, put it up, make it the f hook of this video if you need to. I am the least. I refuse. You're lucky I can't walk right now, or I'd throw I'd walk outside and throw that in the dumpster. If I would take you a minute.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

I wouldn't buy that personally, but like it's not the worst thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

I just don't understand why. Why do we keep have to keep trying to do like more?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

We're innovating. Why choose to go to the moon? Not because it is easy, but because it is hard. JFK. That's not hard. That is easy. That is easy.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

That's like, you know what? I don't want to live to see my children graduate or get married. I'm gonna drink that. If you have one of those everyone. You know the people drinking those aren't having one of those. You don't know that. They wouldn't exist on a Taco Bell menu if people weren't drinking the shit out of it. It's despicable. We don't know that. It's I just like drink the pop, whatever. Drink the creamer, whatever. The creamer coffee is bad enough. You just put two terrible things together. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, people put cream in their coffee. I hate that too. Remember, you have the brain of a puppy. We literally argued about it on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yeah, I know, but I'm saying there's nothing wrong with throwing.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

There's everything wrong with creamer. I'm anti-creamer. Give me put it on my next shirt.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Don't cream.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Creamy. Take my cream one way. Oh, alright. Donut! In a donut, obviously. You guys are incredible. That is creamer and pop is one of the most deplorable behaviors I think I've ever witnessed. Why? You guys are so bored in Utah. Go outside, kids. Just go walk around outside to bored ass Utah.

AI Animal Videos And Wolf Chihuahua

SPEAKER_00 7:34

You might claim it's dangerous, but pivoting into our actual talk of the day, let's talk about the most dangerous animals on the planet. Uh, you know, we've been seeing a lot of AI videos. I love the effort.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

That wasn't terrible. I tried. Better one. So you think that this pop's gonna kill you, but let's talk about something that actually could kill you here. That's a little better, but cigarettes.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

But on to the topic of what might actually kill you. Much better. We've been getting served so many videos. So many. Of these AI uh, you know, instances of people Oh, dude, they're real. What people think are real. Let's start with this. I the why this topic came about. A month back, Pola came to me and Pola said, Hey Joe, did you see that viral video of the Chihuahua that joined a pack of wolves? Yes. And I was like, What are you talking about, man? Like, I haven't seen anything. He's like, dude, there's this video. A Chihuahua left home and joined a pack of wolves. I was like, I don't think that's a thing. Let me see the video. He showed it to me and I told him it was AI, and he was in disbelief that it was AI. And so that led us down more of a rabbit hole of people fighting these animals, boxing a grizzly bear, you know, wrestling silverback gorillas. So I think we need to go through this, rank the biggest and baddest, you know, animals on planet earth, and then go into ones we think we probably could fight or couldn't fight.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Do I get to at least vote from a point of not being on crutches?

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Yes. Yes, you do. Prime John.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Because today I couldn't fight anything.

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Like I'd lose to a f hamster.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Would you like to say anything back to the Chihuahua first?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Well, first, if it's if it's not going to throw us off, could you pull up the video? I just show it to John. It was convinced. Oh no, I've seen it. I you sent it to our group chat, and I couldn't believe that you thought it was real. Oh, come on.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

It was a ring doorvell cam, it was a trail cam.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

It was a trail cam, number one. And number two is a heart, it was a heartwarming story where the wolves took the chihuahua and got it.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Two, trail cam footage is not that clear, bro. Well, wouldn't you want to believe crispy as hell? It looked like someone's out there with an 8K camera living in wolves in the woods. Pull the video up, Joe.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Where do I pull it from?

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Yeah, Google fake Chihuahua living with wolves in my car. Oh yeah, there it is.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

There it is. Look at that. Yeah, this looks so real. Yeah. This wasn't it. Okay. This is not it. This is not the video. Yeah, it's not exactly what it didn't send you this. I was like, look at this.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Wait, wait, wait, I think it's you know what the only you know the you know what? It's a this is a good tie back, because you know, I miss when Taco Bell had some had some some real, you know, balls in their marketing. Yeah, they got rid of the Chihuahua. And they had a chihuahua.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Look at them.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Get the hell out of here, dude.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Alright. You saw that and thought it was real is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

Crazy. You know, there's only like live wolves in one part of America. I'm pretty sure. You know what they re-released them in the Yellowstone National Park. I actually I had a geography.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

You guys ever seen those videos of the dudes in Russia wrestling bears? How do we know that? Those are real. Those have been out for years. Grizzly bears. No, no.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

You uh brown bears, D. Claude. No, uh, there's a dude. What's his name? He sings like death metal. His name's Ivan the Terrible or something. See if see if you can see if you can come up with he's got tattoos, head to toe, he's jacked his shit. He owns a bear. Yeah, that's him. What's his name?

SPEAKER_00 11:13

How to survive? No, that's not it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

This dude's bet this dude's has a he has a pet bear.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

That's him. Yeah, that's the bear.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

And he's wrestling all the time. This dude, I mean, so this guy has like a very deep voice. Who is this? And he's covered head to toe in taxi. He's an absolutely terrifying human. And he is constantly wrestling bears on his Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Didn't Khib wrestle a bear? Or is that?

SPEAKER_02 11:36

I feel like Khib is a bear.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

I'm sure they do wrestle bears. Probably, probably. Bears in Dagestan? Yeah, I I bet they do. Their training regimens are what did he say? Two or three years Dagestan. Two or three years Dagestan. It's such a good name. And forget. That's a but like when I hear that, that's what I think they're probably doing.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

Yeah, 100%. So like I They make it seem approachable. I don't think there's a world that I could wrestle a bear. I can't wrestle. I could fist fight.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

I mean, if the bear wasn't trying to just claw your brains out like that bear, you might be able to declaw baby black bear.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Which one's smaller? The brown bear, the black bear? Maybe that's why. That's a baby.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

I mean, you're a black bear smaller.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

You think you could take one?

SPEAKER_01 12:27

I don't know if I could take one, but I would I think my chances would be better wrestling a declawed baby black bear than anything bigger than that.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Well no shit.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

You're like, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Why don't we just like uh why don't we just tie it tie it in like a cattle tie?

SPEAKER_01 12:40

It's legs and paws are all. Well, I'm saying that's still pretty big. Google how much one of those things weighs. Probably at least 200 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

I was on a fishing trip in college senior year. I was uh up in uh Cook's Forest with a couple couple buddies. We're sitting outside at his camp, having some beers, making some mountain pies. We're going fishing early the next morning, and we're just kind of like hanging out. We got a picnic table that's covered in like all the stuff we're making the mountain pies with, right? And he's got a corn feeder that's probably sitting like 50 yards from us. So like if you and I are sitting at the table, it's probably like where the shipping container is outside. Okay. So it's far enough away that you're like not looking at it, not paying attention to it, but all we hear is like a bunch of branches break, and then like a like a like a thump, like a thump. And then you you hear the bear put its head on the corn feeder. So it was like a raised corn feeder, and then start grinding into the corn in his mouth. So it's like right. Then another bear, a littler bear, so this is like a big bear, a smaller bear, which was a baby bear. It may have been decoded, comes walking from the other, like on the other side of the field or whatever, to the corn feeder. The mama bear is is so big that it I mean the corn feeders for deer that are standing up to eat off of with their heads up. So they're like probably like four feet off the ground. The bear is sitting on the ground and it's so big that it can just sit its head on it. The little bear comes out, stands up, it's as tall as this mom bear that's sitting there on its ass. The mom bear looks at it, the bear, like, and we're all sitting there, and we're like, oh shit, they're gonna kill the dog. Like, right? And then they're gonna come over here and eat all of our food. So you're like, you don't mess around with that stuff. Little bear stands up, the mom bear like grunts at her or something, or whatever. This little bear takes off into the woods, and I kid you not, it sounded like someone was driving a car just through every single tree in the woods, right? And you could hear it just knocking stuff over, breaking shit, runs up a tree, and then you heard it rattling in that tree. We like slowly packed our stuff and like went into like a porch area, but like you could hear this bear in there was just pissed, couldn't get to the corn feeder. So when you're talking about wrestling, what sounds like a Volkswagen beetle driving through the woods with no claws? I'm giving that one uh absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Well, we just looked it up, it's only a hundred pounds, the baby one.

Sponsor Break

SPEAKER_00 15:02

There's the the strength of a adult males can range from 130 to 500, females 90 to 300. Yeah, they get big. So, like if it's like a hundred and two hundred pounds tops, do we just have to survive or do we have to k the thing?

Defining The Scariest Animals Alive

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Hey, real quick, I want to take a second to thank this week's sponsor, First Forum. If you guys noticed, I've had this little can of megawatts sitting here the entire episode, and I actually do have it in the shaker. Why? Well, I literally needed a little kick before the episode started. Didn't feel like making a coffee or going through the energy drink route. And because it's a caffeinated nootropic pre-workout, I feel comfortable just drinking it and then doing normal stuff. It's one of those products that I think is so good. You don't actually have to be going to the gym in order to supplement your lifestyle. What's awesome is right now, they love you guys so much that if you use the link firstform.com forward slash slightly above average, they're gonna give you a free five-pack of their protein beef sticks, which are also awesome. I had one right before the show. And if you don't like it, they're giving you a 110% 30-day money back guarantee. It's literally no risk to you. So whether you're in the gym or trying to get in the gym, trying to just be a little bit healthier, you gotta check out First Form. They're the best products on the planet. You can use them regardless of what stage you're at. Thank you, First Form, for making this episode possible. Now, let's get back to it. What is going on here? You hold on. I thought we were fighting to the wrestling.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Yeah, we're fighting to the death.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Are we doing folk style or free style?

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Free style. Reversal.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

We're actually doing Greco Roman. Oh, alright.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

Both gonna be nude.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Bears already prepped for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

You gotta have a ref out there? Yes. Acknowledging pins. Um, I feel like the bear, based off this list, was probably our best shot thus far. I mean, what are the biggest and baddest animals on the earth? Like if you guys had to go through a couple. Gorilla. Gorilla, grizzly bears. Grizzly bears.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

Like giant cats are like terrifying.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Oh, like lions or mountain lions? Tigers, mountain lions, mountain lions are terrifying how like they creep up on people, how quiet they are.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

You ever seen those AI videos? Like a mountain lion like chasing some chick or something, and she's like plugs her single or something stupid at the end of it. Yeah, those are those get me every time.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Tigers are terrifying to me. What about even small animals like super venomous snakes? I hate snakes. I can't do snakes. Something quick just gives you a quick bite, you're done. Um over here is like poisonous dart frog.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

What about like a bobcat? Do you guys think bobcats are terrifying?

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Yeah, all of us. Large cats are, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Would you consider a bobcat like a large cat? It's not a small one. I know it's not small. I wouldn't say it's like a lion.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

It's not a lion, for sure. It's not like a but a bobcat can like run up a tree, jump down, like rip your eyes out. Yeah. They're like, they're scary as shit.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

I could take a bobcat. I don't know, man. Yeah. My buddy. No, I don't know. I could fight one off, but like I don't want to fight off. I've seen, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

I've seen some crazy videos of bobcats like hissing at people.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

They're scary. Yeah, I don't know, but yeah. They're also like very well hidden.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Life or death, though?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

I I mean I'm Bobcat, life or death.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

With just your hands? Yeah. Yeah, dude. No, you're not. I'm six times the size of it. How much does that thing weigh? 40 pounds. They're that small. Wait, I thought bobcats are bigger than that.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

That's what I that's what I was just I read this and thought I was zoned out. I didn't read it out loud. I'm saying I read it a thousand pounds.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Now maybe, maybe one bobcat you could beat, but let's say there's a handful of them. I don't think you could.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

That brings me to one of my favorite corners of the internet. Have you guys seen the simulation corner of the internet? Oh, if people like putting, yeah. So they'll do like they'll do they'll do like 10,000 Mike Tysons versus a million bears in a simple. And I find myself watching them all the time. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

They did that one with uh, who was it? Was it John Jones or someone where it was like how many of his wife would it take to beat him? And they were doing it in like a simulation. You had to go there. This man just can't. Why did they do that? Was it bad? Why would he be able to do that?

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Domestic violence is his biggest thing.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

His wife won in the simulation. It took like 30 of them, but they won. I'm just saying, that's what happened.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

I mean, I'm all over here. I was like, the last one I watched was Legolas and Gimli.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

I watched like a hundred Iron Bands versus one Thanos or something.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Like I was like, Where are you falling into the symptom? The algorithm served it to me and I wanted to be a good one. Awful.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

I get but do Bob do Bobcats like are they in packs?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

No. I don't think any wild cat is in a pack that's not that's not like a lion on a prairie. Like I think they're the only pack.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

I think when you start getting to you have to start like kind of weighing the options as far as retreating versus fighting in some of these animals. Like, could you outrun a hippo? You're not gonna beat a hippo. No, no, they're so mean. They're so quick.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

If you outrun a hippo, I think a hippo is actually elite in the water.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Yeah, they're elite on land too.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

They're pretty scary.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

They're pretty fast. Then you go into like a moose. Dude, moose moose mess people up all the time.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

All the time. They're huge. I don't know if we have anyone listening in like Canada or Alaska, but if you're if you are and you got some moose running around, please chime in. Because I might poop myself if I was driving down the road and a giant moose walk. Like a moose weighs like a thousand pounds.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yeah, they're big.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think the moon. It's like the size of your ranger.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

R.I.P. I don't know. R.I.P. She's still alive.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

What about uh crocodiles? Alligators?

SPEAKER_02 20:29

So I will say. No, no, I wouldn't say that's what I'll hold the line there. Absolutely five. Did you see some of these dudes that are wrestling alligators and crocodiles, and they're not they're nothing special. They just have gigantic balls. You know how big salt water is something special.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Tom Brady, he's nothing special. He just could throw the football real good. Like no. That's not even close to being two things wrestling an alligator.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

That I I disagree with you wholeheartedly. What? You put an alligator wrestler in the same ballpark as the greatest quarterback to ever play football? But this is when it comes to like skill.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

We'll get into the debate later. Those skill sets aren't even close. Alligators aren't gonna tire as easy. Those things go for hours. Yeah, and you're not holding on as long as that thing's gonna turn and whip and flail its tail and try to move. Unless you have electrical tape handy on you, what are you gonna do? Snap its neck. It's built like a tube of pulp. It's mouth downward. Yeah, but you the You can get them closed. Well, you're underestimating with crocs and alligators are their tails. Those things, the alligator roll is a thing for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Put a 300 pound man on the back of a gator. I don't know how much.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Of a thousand pound gator?

SPEAKER_02 21:44

How big is this gator getting? Joe's like the gr the largest gator to ever be in planet Earth. Can you can Yeah, it's kind of me. Let's look at the average.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

The average size of a saltwater croc is 16 to 20 feet long. Bro, 400 to a Thousand kilograms.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

880 to 22? If it's small at 880?

SPEAKER_00 22:05

You're wrestling a Honda Civic from the mid-80s.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

You might get an American crocodile or alligator. First off, alligators and crocodiles are not the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

I know. I'm trying to say if you might be able to wrestle an alligator.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

On a golf course, a croc is sitting, excuse me, gator sitting on like the bay of the water. A thing comes at me, I'm going toe to toe with it. Now I feel like a golf course alligator is different.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Alright, eight to eleven feet. Like that's a little bit different. 500 pounds max.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

A saltwater croc is the largest version of whatever the hell the. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. No, of course not. You're like an It's like, yeah, I'm gonna fight an elephant. No. I don't care if it's a baby or 100,000 years old.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

How do you okay? Let's hypothetically say you get on the back and it doesn't you. How do you how do you win?

SPEAKER_02 22:53

It's not gonna it's still gonna piss it off.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Come here.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

It's brain's like this big. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Unless you can penetrate its skin with your nails because you haven't find it. I think you win in that equation, but I don't think it's enough.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

That's what I'm saying. We gotta we gotta do the math. I just like I I there's like a part of me that like I really do think like I could put something in my grab. Yeah, I just not jump its windpipe out, it's gotta breathe.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Okay, let's take a step back from the the the water-bearing animal animals. What about a kangaroo?

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Bro, there's nothing that'll ever be better than the video of the Aussies boxing a kangaroo. Yeah, the the the the Chain Gillis skit. Have you seen that skit?

SPEAKER_00 23:49

There was a mega viral video of this dude. He's some Aussie. This kangaroo had a kangaroo. This kangaroo had his dog and like was gripping up his dog. He went up and just pop pop and then he's boxing, he let go of the dog, and then he's just boxing this kangaroo. And I'm just like, dude, you got some balls on you.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Like kangaroos are like yoked too. There's this one jacked kangaroo that was on the internet before I think you guys were born. Kangaroo Jack? No, no. Look at him. There he is. Bottom right. That one's fake. But there was a real one from back in the day that they're just like jacked roos. Look at them.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

I didn't realize how these things are pretty jacked.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Kangaroos are big, man. They're jacked. It is so they have some crazy claws on them, too. I never knew that when I was younger. Probably pretty fast, too.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Well, they can bounce on their tail and kick you in the face. Humans don't have tails, so we're at a disadvantage there.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

You just grow one.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

But it would be yeah, yeah, just grow one.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Kangaroos are like wild animals.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Like a what, a power ranger or some shit? Like just tail grow.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

I don't know if that's I don't know if tail tombs. We watched a very different Power Ranger. Tail time.

Chimp Strength And Movie Reality Checks

SPEAKER_01 25:10

I didn't even watch Power Rangers in my car. I just like the toys. What about a chimpanzee? No. After I saw Chimp Crazy, I that's one of the most deceptively like oh hold on, hold on. What the hell is a Chimp Crazy? Chimp Crazy was a Netflix documentary made by the same guy that made Tiger King, but it's even wilder. It's so wild. And like these animals, the chimps, especially, I think because especially all of us, with the exception of Joe, you got to grew up with these 90s movies where the chimps are your friends and they're these great side characters. Dunstan checks in, great film. But once they hit a certain age, man, they turn feral. I grew up with Planet of the Apes.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

Not grew up, but like I mean, yeah. So first off, nods to Caesar, you know, the ultimate. But I I I cannot believe the things this man watches, Joe, and then the things he refuses to watch that we request of him. Yeah, that is like you're watching a bunch of chimps play with each other. That's not the plot of chimp crazy. And then we're over here, like we all we want you to do is watch Gone in 60 seconds. I watched it already. It was twice. It was three months. He's yet to finish it. It was fine. He has no proof. No proof. Yeah, outside of like the SparkNotes. What's the name of the car? Can't you remember? Eleanor. Wise. He wrote it on his palm.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

We had a SparkNote summary, I think, regurgitated.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

I remember Sparknote. You're over here watching Chimp Crazy, and we ask you all the time to watch movies, and you're like, I don't got time for that one.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

I would argue I've probably watched more movies that you guys have recommended than movies I have recommended. Yeah, you recommend terrible movies. That's not true.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Literally, I watched Marty Supreme when I was locked up last year. And I and I honestly, Sam, lost so much respect for you because you because of the mountain of validation you gave that movie. You're in a minority here. No, I'm not. It's only it's gonna be critically acclaimed. No, it's not. He lost everything.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

He lost everything. They're back on to losing all of everything onto these fights. He lost everything because he said the whole, oh, I don't respect the valet. That's why he lost it because he didn't deserve it.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

That video had to be that movie. Bullshit. No, Chalmei is. We'll get into this at a later episode. And he's so much better. Like even Willie Wonk, he was better.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

No, he wasn't. No, he's just saying crazy shit.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Back to the animals. Speaking of fighting all these animals individually. Fight this animal. This this raised a uh a debate we had internally. Hold on.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Can someone do a simulation that knows how to do that stuff of Sam's versus me? How many Sams? Please?

SPEAKER_00 27:39

How many Samsung?

SPEAKER_02 27:39

I want to see what a simulation thinks. How many Sams it would take too? Three good Sams? Oh yeah. I think I think I think I've I'm in at least ten. No way.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

I think I could nine of you. Three good Sam's. One Sam would have to give up his life, the other one would have to act as a distraction, but the third one, he'd get the job done.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

Are they all the same Sam's? Or are you talking like Sams of the multiverse? Are we talking like multiple Deadpools here? Like you got different purposes. That would actually be great. One comes up. Sorry, I got some real good pre-work on the radio polygast.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Is it really feasible? Hold on.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

The one thing we didn't ask, like you asked chimpanzee. Yeah. I can beat the shit out of a chimpanzee. No. Yeah. Oh, Johnny. No, you're wrong. Well, if you really underestimate me, they'll rip your face off. I think you're underestimating me. That's the thing. It's the closest to a human that we got. Yeah. Which means that it's also going to react the same as a human. No, man. I think it's just think that there's nothing upstairs. Like if I if I like punched a tiger as hard as I possibly could in the face. Yeah. It's not phasing it. But a chimp it is.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

Yeah, I think it's just gonna piss it off.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Yeah, I mean it's gonna piss it off. I'm pissed off.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

Their strength is off the chart. Can you look up how strong a chimpanzee is?

SPEAKER_00 28:58

Like how do they measure strength? I don't know. Should I see what its combined bench press was for two weekly? He's acting like my strength is not off the chart.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

You're acting like my will to live is not off the chart.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Yeah, but a chimpanzee, though, it's a whole different brain. What one to three to 1.5 times more powerful than that. Cool, how many?

SPEAKER_00 29:17

But like, what are they comparing that to? The average human is pretty weak.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Look at that grip strength. A chimpanze's grip strength is estimated at 441 to 727 pounds, which is capable of crushing bone. I also saw this video, it was in Chimp Crazy. This chimp went wild. It literally ripped the door off a police car. The policeman's trying to shoot it. As he's shooting the chimp, it just keeps going.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

You're talking about outlier chimps here. We're talking about your run of the mill every day.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

This was just a random chip from the you go to the Pittsburgh Zoo and this was this was a chimp in captivity.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

I'm beating shit out of that chimp. I don't know about that, man. No offense to chimps, but.

100 Humans Versus Silverback Debate

SPEAKER_00 29:59

But as you get into the bigger ones, right? The one that we haven't mentioned yet is the silverback gorilla. I I told you guys this the day that came out. I know, and we're going to get into that debate. There was the viral debate of a hundred humans versus one silverback gorilla, and we all debated it. I think that a hundred humans would lose to a silverback. John thinks one John could beat a silverback, and Sam was in between. Where do we stand a year later on this case?

SPEAKER_01 30:25

I still think it depends on the humans. I feel like there's a hundred humans that could beat that gorilla. There's also a hundred that could get mauled. Like you have to have the best of the best. Like, I want humans that are like peak physical condition. They've got some sort of training that's going to help them in like this hand-to-hand combat. You know, they also can work together. They're not just one after another after another. I gotta give it to my boy Trav back when that was a thing.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

He he he ran the simulation guy?

SPEAKER_02 30:55

No, he did a uh he did a video on his channel. Um it's uh reinvented woodworks. And basically he was like woodworkers of how many woodworkers would it take? And this dude's To beat a silverback gorilla? Yeah, probably a lot. He started the video, he's like everyone's he just hyped the shit out of me and it felt great. It was awesome. Thank you, Travis. But he was like, we've got one that I mean it was me. He's like, oh I'm getting my ass kicked. I do think though that like ten of me could get a road killing. Ten. Yeah, easy. Ten? All day.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Ten of you. John, you have to think here. If I was in top shape, yeah, all day. But I preached this before and I will preach it again. Top shape or not, animal instinct, we do not have. I have it. Not like a silverback gorilla. They won't tire as quick as humans.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

I'm not, yeah, you're not wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

I would say 50 of you gets the job done. 50. You have strength, you have size, you're gonna have to have some sacrifices. 50 is a guarantee.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

I I think 50, you're still toting the line. I mean, I believe James Harrison said take two of him. I 100% agree. You guys haven't met that man.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Yeah, uh he's not human. I I'm not disagreeing with you. You saw him with your boy last week. I think humans blindly believe they could do a lot of things that they actually can't do. Hell yes! And I think I love that about humanity. Yeah. But going back to reality, you see some of these things these animals do, and it's like you can't teach that instinct.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

And and you know what you I would even argue, even if you just go back with like like uh like anthropology, like whenever human beings started like animals and stuff, a lot of it wasn't just their raw hands. They had to develop tools and wisdom.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

We're talking about gorillas, dude. Anthropology about that. There's an Alan on McKnight, and I'm married. Of course I know about it. You're not wrong there.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

But I agree. It like develop like you know, as evolution has occurred, humans have gotten soft. You pull 100 average humans, they're getting cleaned. Cleaned by that gorilla all day.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

That silverback is wiping. You know how strong humans are. We walk up to Walmart and we go grab a hundred people, they're getting slaughtered.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Yeah. Unless I'm in there and I'm hungry. And then you go into the only chance.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

I just think you'd give a gorilla more of a run for its money than you than you're giving yourself credit for. You just sent us a video of him jumping over like a six foot.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

What about you jump on its back and choke it out?

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yes, Joe. We just looked up the strength of a chimpanzee, and that's like a fourth the size of a gorilla. It's in its 700 pounds of grip strength. What do you think the gorilla is?

SPEAKER_00 33:30

It doesn't matter if he can't get his hands on you. I'm gonna die trying to kill that mother. But at the end of the day, I think it's clean in-house. Now, if you think 50 of you can beat a silverback, do you think a hundred of you could beat a grizzly bear? The claws are the X factor, though.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Yes. And so I don't think so. I mean that the thing with the gorilla is a gorilla can hit you so hard it can be too.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

I think it just spins in like a T formation.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

But that's a the thing with so a bear doesn't have opposable thumbs like a gorilla. Doesn't need it, it has sword-like fingers. That's what I'm saying. But it has swords on it. It does. So like it can swipe you, and like a gorilla swipes you, it's gonna, it's gonna break bone, it's gonna mess you up real bad. Add on top of that a grizzly bear bringing just straight razor blades through your body, you're screwed. So like I that's the X factor for me is the is the grizzly between the grizzly and the and the silverback.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

They're 70 to 100% more dense, heavier. Than a human? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

What's the average weight's 500 pounds? It's only got a couple hundred on me. That's a difference. Yeah, but they're like I'm not small. But that's that's like a volume of media. That's a loaded 500. Yeah, that's not like that's not like a loaded three?

SPEAKER_00 34:48

I'm not saying you're not jumping. I would I would bet that their like muscle mass is probably uh weighs a lot more to me all day.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

All day.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

They're bite force, 1300 PSI. Twice as powerful as a lion. Have you seen their their cane bite?

SPEAKER_02 35:05

I just love gorilla, you're just so pro-gorilla.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

No, I'm not. I'm not gonna-go live with them. I think if you get enough humans, it could beat a gorilla if it really needed to. But I'm just saying, like, gorillas are savages. I'm not saying they're not. There's savage humans out there, dude. I mean, do you think a gorilla or a silverback grizzly? Or sorry, silverback gorilla or a grizzly bear win in a fight? That's a tough one. That was a big one right after the human debate.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

I think that the gorilla beats the grizzly only because you a gorilla can take a beating, but it's more mobile. So, like, the gorilla can get around the grizzly bear faster, wear the grizzly bear out, it can climb trees, so can a bear. But like, it can jump out of trees. Yeah, I guess a bear could too.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

I think I just selfishly want the gorilla to win.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Oh, I think the grizzly. You want the gorilla to be supreme? I got the grizzly on it. I don't think the that means you're putting the gri the grizzly as like the apex predator of the planet.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

I think polar bears probably are.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Polar bears. Now, now now but polars and grizzlies are not on the same page.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

They're not, but I mean that's in the same place.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

Like, bring up the stats of a polar versus a grizzly.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

I I understand they're very different, but I'm saying if polar bears are the pinnacle. Hear me out. If polar bears are the pinnacle, I don't think grizzly bears are that much further behind that silverback gorillas would be. Is a polar bear bigger than a grizzly? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

So, so I can't remember why. I'm almost bringing up the stats.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

They're usually just chilling out drinking.

SPEAKER_02 36:35

So because of where polar bears like live, they're just conditioned to like the worst of the world. And I feel like that they're just I guess I don't know. Maybe they're considered to be more of a vicious bear.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

They're a lot larger compared to grizzlies.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

Sixteen hundred pounds and ten feet tall.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Yeah. But that's not as far behind as a a silverback gorilla would be compared to the polar bear.

unknown 37:03

What?

SPEAKER_00 37:04

A grizzly bear is closer to a polar bear than a a silverback gorilla is. That's what I'm saying. So as far as like the order of ops here and how we're dissecting it.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Yeah. They're the polar bears are genuinely.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

I think a grizzly, I think a grizzly with its its dexterity, it doesn't have the fingers, but like I said, it can stand in place and swipe. Its bite force is incredible. Well that I mean they're they're quite quick. Like you know how fast grizzly bears run?

SPEAKER_02 37:30

That's what I'm saying. They're fast. I don't know. Maybe I just like the gorilla because it's closer to a human. That's where I'm kind of leaning to.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

John, 40 miles an hour. I I know they're fast. I just said that. Come on. Yeah, but polar bears pull it. That's the one that, you know, you you start getting into that.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

I think I've been conditioned through so much marketing to believe that they're just these friendly creatures hanging out up there like a polar bear.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

That's your panda bear. Oh, we didn't even bring up panda bears. There's nothing vicious about that. Come on, man. No, I'm dead serious.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

Panda bears, they they don't even eat they eat they don't even eat meat. Yeah, they eat that bamboo. Isn't bamboo a weird material? You could eat it or build with it. How many things are like that? You can't eat oak.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

You can. I know there's bigger bears, but like a sloth bear, I think, is one of the bigger ones.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

What's the biggest bear?

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Kodiak bear. Okay. But I don't think it's the most aggressive. Like I'm fairly positive a polar bear would still clean it.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

What's the most aggressive? I mean, a 1500-pound bear. It's 10 feet tall.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

The swath bear. Yeah, that bear does look swirly. That thing, yeah, I don't know. It looks tiny and feisty.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

He probably lives in like the desert or something in India. What did it say? Yeah. He looks haggard. Survival is just by being pissed.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

What about a panda bear? You think they're cute? That's what we were just talking about about. Yeah, I don't know, man. Polar bears, man. That's just you're in a different ballpark.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

You ever just like watch you ever see like a video of a polar bear playing with a sloth? Not a sloth. A seal. They'll just like bat them around, throw them in like 30 feet in the air. Like just it's sad for the seal.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

They're not friendly. Coca-Cola. Those nature documentaries, they don't you just see so many animals die. They just keep it so real. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

This one dark fast. Real fast.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

And they'll narrate over just a real calm tone of voice that's like sometimes even this. It's very soothing.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

So I I have a list of animals ranging from the smallest to the to the largest. Uh I would love to go through you guys saying if you could beat it or not. Okay. Does that sound fine, John? That's good. Alright. First up we have a house cat.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Yeah, we could do that.

SPEAKER_00 39:57

Norman goes rogue, Sam. You got him?

SPEAKER_01 39:59

Yeah, I will say yeah. Yeah, we could I could definitely take Norman. Callie. Almost 30-pound beast. Yeah. 30-pound beast.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

Yes, if you didn't know Sam owns multiple cats.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

What about a goose?

SPEAKER_02 40:14

Yes. Goose are mean.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

They're mean.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

They're pretty mean.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Oh, this guy's really mean.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

He was mean. To preface, we don't condone animal violence. You know, this is all hypothetical situations, life or death. He's very self-defensive. Um, a medium-sized dog, 50 pounds.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

This is where we're starting to get into it now. It depends on the dog. What if he has rabies? What if that's the thing. You know, think about it like this. What if he has rabies? All it takes is just one bite and you're gonna be able to get it. What if he has superpowers? What if he can fly? I'm just saying, he's a rabbit.

SPEAKER_02 40:49

If the dog could stand on two heads, what if its mom forgot to beat it in the morning?

SPEAKER_01 40:53

Far away from the hospital, he's rabid, he bites you, you might die. He might get you.

SPEAKER_02 40:59

I think he could probably straight up normal 50-pound dog, Sam.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

Probably we could take.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

I hope you could take a 50-pound dog. Same we. I mean, I think I could take a 50-pound dog, right? Yeah, oh probably. Large dog. Like a German Shepherd, Pipple, uh, Rottweiler.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

This is where we get into. You ever see those dogs? Train.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Okay, those are outliers. Those guys that that have those dogs. Kane Corsos or whatever. Yeah, Kane Corso, I don't think. Kane Corso, Kane Corso is actually the right name. Kane Corso. Learned that in Texas.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

But uh don't take anything they say for I'm just what I was taught.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

I called it Kane, and they were like, it's a Kane.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

Yeah, it's Kane.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

So what so it's only just a German I mean, we could use a German Shepherd as an example. I mean, those dogs are ruthless.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

It's like an extra large breeds, right?

SPEAKER_00 41:44

No, like the XL breeds we can keep away from because those ones, yeah. Okay. But aggressive breeds, like what would you consider an aggressive breed large dog? I would say Pitbull, Rottweiler, um except cheese. Cheese is an outlier.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Yeah. She's very large, very nice. That's where I think we're starting to get into. I don't know if we're taking that.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

I think we would take a beating, but we could come out on the other side. We'd be tore up, man. Like you start grabbing shit, hitting it with it.

SPEAKER_02 42:11

I I I just you have more of a chance.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

That's what we're doing.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

Okay. Three shops ago, my the shop owner that I was sharing space with had like this 200-pound St. Bernard. It bit me once, and it it wasn't fun. That dog is enormous.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

And it has a lot of bite force.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Dude, some dogs are terrifying. My neighbor had my my parents' neighbor has a um Rhodesian ridgeback.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

Yeah, terrifying.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

They they it's a nice like he has two of them. They're nice dogs, but the one male dude is terrifying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

I don't know why I'm just so not into big dogs at all. When I was growing up, a buddy of mine had an English mastiff. That thing was like it would just lean on you and knock you over.

SPEAKER_02 42:54

My boy in college had one. In college. Like that was his puppy. And they lived with us in our like we had apartment dorms. Uh they lived with us in the apartment dorm.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

I'm like good family friends, we know. He had to put him down because he was aggressive. They have a they had an Irish wolfhound. What the f is that? So there was one growing up that lived here. He's the nicest dog ever. His name was Moose.

SPEAKER_02 43:14

Terrifying. But the dog like standing is Dude. It's like his back legs, he was up to like my pecs, man. Yeah, they're they're huge.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

Five's nine. He's almost you know on all fours. Yeah, these dogs we can exclude because that that's a that's a rough one. Okay, we have an eagle. So we're birds of the sky. I'd I'd let it kill me.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

I think it's I'd let a bald eagle just have me. Yeah. Attack me. Okay, let's talk about an osprey. What a way to go out. What's an osprey?

SPEAKER_01 43:40

I don't even know what that is. A giant bird. I feel like the birds, the birds that are actually capable of flight, even though they're smaller, I feel like it like how are you gonna if you just have your bare hands, how are you gonna like do anything with it? I feel like you just Yeah, you can't catch, remember?

SPEAKER_00 43:54

You gotta grab an eagle. You gotta get that thing in a jungle. You gotta grab that thing, you're gonna take some. Its talons are gonna claw into you.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Yeah, it's you scratch your eyes out, you can't see, and then it's just gonna start.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

You immediately go to like, okay, the worst case scenario going to happen to you. Give yourself some benefit when you cry.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

I'd snatch it out of the air.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

Well, we all admit a bald eagle could just have its way with us.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

I would just I would take one for the American. Bullish Eagle, you're not walking away from that one. You're not walking away from that. Um okay, so Eagle, yes or no? Like we could it could be a regular eagle. It doesn't have to be a bald eagle.

SPEAKER_01 44:31

There's only one eagle. What about the Eagles? What if you could you you think you could fight the Eagles? Is that a the football team? Is that a band? The Eagles? Oh yeah, tearing them up. Yeah, probably now. Probably.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

In their stage now, they're gonna walk through that place and come out.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

They play Hotel California while kick his ass.

SPEAKER_00 44:52

Um, a coyote. You ever seen one in person? Yeah, I think I can f the coyote up. It's like a rabid medium dog. Yeah. I think it'd be a pack of coyotes, is when you're you're you're yeah, good luck. One singular one, I think we all could take it.

SPEAKER_02 45:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

They're vicious. You're gonna get tore up again. You know, it's another one of those, like, you're not coming out unscathed.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

I think there's a chance I die, or there's a chance I get to tell a great story. Agree. I wouldn't believe I actually this coyote. One time. Um, here in heaven, he lost that battle. So is that a yes from you?

SPEAKER_02 45:26

All day. Coyote go to hell.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Uh a bobcat.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

I got a bobcat too.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

The more I thought about the bobcat.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

They're scary, but I'll get it.

SPEAKER_01 45:35

No, no. I was gonna say the more I thought about, the more I don't know if you're winning that. I know it's smaller, but 40 pounds, man.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

Once again, you're coming out beat up.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

But it's so quick. Even the average. Yeah, but it's a bread pillow. It's so quick, though. I'm saying it latches onto you and just starts going. I don't know, man. I don't know. You give cats too much respect, dude. I'm just saying, like a regular house cat's quick as shit, but a bobcat?

SPEAKER_00 45:59

Yeah, bobcats are terrifying. Have you guys seen the uh bobcats hunt quick? Did we just see something quick with a bobcat here?

SPEAKER_01 46:05

I can't believe how scared of a house cat you are. I'm not scared of the house cat, but I'm aware of uh how how powerful these bobcats might be if just hold on. Uh the Bella's subs. Look at that.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

We can't show this.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

We can't afford YouTube premium around here, guys. You haven't subscribed to the channel yet, and we're not making enough channel revenue. So if uh you don't want to see these commercials, you know, just this is a news station?

SPEAKER_00 46:33

Ew. This dude fought it off with his bare hands, man. This guy right here, him. That's a teenage boy.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

Okay, maybe maybe maybe you could take the bobcat. That kind of changes my perspective.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Also, he's hunting. Why didn't he just light that thing up?

SPEAKER_02 46:54

I mean, you would you would prefer it would avoid you.

SPEAKER_00 46:56

A hundred percent, but if if if it's creeping up on you like that, John Well.

SPEAKER_02 47:05

I don't know what the laws are for bobcats.

SPEAKER_00 47:07

I think it's you have to prove self-defense somehow with animals if you kill them out of season or if they're not allowed to be killed. How do you prove that? It's it's a slippery. Some people you don't want to be. Yeah. Um I think we could take a bobcat.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

Yeah, after seeing that, I think I actually don't think.

SPEAKER_00 47:30

If you need to pull, you pull guard, you're good.

SPEAKER_01 47:33

I don't know about that. I feel like you have a recipe to get I'm gonna lock him on top of me here. Oh god, it's so bad. It's so bad. Alright, I'll go down. Now, this one I'm so curious to hear what you guys think. A wild boar. I don't think we're winning. No. I don't think a wild boar have you seen it's I it's like it's Robert Brathian.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

How would you kill the boar with your bare hands? Like, I that's that's that's my question, is because it's just like impervious to bare hand battle. Robert Brathian was very drunk, don't forget.

SPEAKER_01 48:06

He was big that he was a big boy. Big man. A E. He was very drunk in that. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

Wild boars have some crazy tick. You get a boar with a tusk. They're hunting boars like in Florida because they're um yo. Oh, yeah. What are they called? Oh, they're big, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

Intrusive or intrusive species. Unlimited. You can I always I want to go hunt wild boars.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

Ryan in the creator playbook, he he hunts them for Florida. He does. Yeah, he's using super large caliber weapons.

SPEAKER_02 48:38

They're impervious to like hand-to-hand combat.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

Like, what are you gonna do? Punch it? It it's like it's it's got a four-inch thick skull.

SPEAKER_01 48:45

Like it's one of the few animals they allow you to use an AR-15 to hunt with. They're hunting with automatic weapons. Yeah, there's just guys take the helicopters out.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

Yeah, that's why I'm watching. I want to do that. If you got a helicopter and an automatic shotgun and want to take me out, please call. So you're you're conceding to the boar then? I don't think it would k me. I think I can get away, but I I can't. I don't think I could fit.

SPEAKER_00 49:05

Yeah, I think maybe getting away from it, they don't seem very uh you know, elusive.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

Pretty straight line. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:13

Uh kangaroo.

SPEAKER_02 49:15

This one's gonna be a battle here. It's got a long neck, so I think I could choke it out.

SPEAKER_00 49:21

Adult-sized kangaroo for me, no, medium-sized, like going into adulthood. I think I could outbox it and just kind of keep my distance. I'm I'm throwing some jabs.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

I wouldn't even try to box it. I'm waiting, I'm gonna try I'm gonna grab it, bring it in close.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

No, you're locked in a room. You're in a room, John. John, you're in a room this size of this studio. There's a single door, only one person can come out. Yeah. You have to get out of the room. Yeah. Are you outboxing that kangaroo? I'm not gonna box it. I'm gonna fight it. Alright, I'll take that answer.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

Like, I'm gonna choke it out. It's got a the long windpipe and neck, right? Like you like a kangaroo, like I I feel like I feel like there's a lot of area for me to get in there.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

It's a lot of muscle you're grabbing.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Yeah, that's a thick neck, man. If you saw that Aussie kangaroo, I'd be interested to see if you could even get both hands around it.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

Two arms, arm, my legs are wrapped around it, and I'm I'm death spiraling that thing on the ground until I can get it to um okay.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

What about a wolf? That's a tough one. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 50:22

Because like we don't actually have a perception of how large wolves actually are. They're huge. They're like they're not small. It's not like a little puppy. Didn't they bring dire wolves back?

SPEAKER_00 50:32

Six and a half feet in total length, potentially. Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 50:36

Yeah, that's not happening.

SPEAKER_02 50:39

They're very like a gray wolf three feet tall.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

The size of a great dame, man. I mean, and with way more fighting and natural instinct. Yeah, it's it's a it's they're they're not they're not your little Yeah, that's an L. We had a good run. We did. Okay, this is actually a great one. What about a deer? Deer are so stupid.

SPEAKER_01 50:59

Uh now, uh in rut, I don't know about that. They might tear you up. It could if it could get you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:06

I'm not gonna I'm not gonna argue, but I'm not, I'm not, they're dumb as shit.

SPEAKER_02 51:09

I'm not giving you.

SPEAKER_01 51:14

I've got an algebra problem here. I got you now.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

If it's a deer in a room, that thing's gonna run straight into a wall, Sam.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

John gets out of his ranting, I think, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 51:28

I think some deer are pretty pretty good. You might have it's 50-50 to me.

SPEAKER_02 51:35

Zero.

SPEAKER_00 51:36

I think 50-50. They're pretty big. If it's a buck, absolutely not with antlers. If it's a dope.

SPEAKER_02 51:42

If you make a loud noise in front of a deer, it stops moving.

SPEAKER_00 51:44

But if it if it's fighting you, he's in a rut.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

He's pissed off, he's horny, he's got a big rack is ready to be.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

He might not even fight you, man.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

He might think somebody smells nothing like a female deer. You don't know that.

SPEAKER_00 51:57

I do. You almost made Sam smell like one the one day uh in that video, he tried buying that deer piss to put on you.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Yeah, but if one of your enemies douses you in some female deer piss on the house. They know my weakness.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Okay, this is the one of contention before we started filming that we had an ostrich.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

I don't know what an ostrich is, so the first thing I said was, oh yeah, I could do that. Giant bird. What do you mean you don't know what an ostrich is? I like nothing's popping into my mind when I hear ostrich. Fuzzy ass, long neck. Let me see. Legs. I imagined it like a turkey. No. Yo.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

Okay, okay, no, never mind. Well, I didn't know it was like that. You know what's upsetting is that there was a period of your life where you were educating the youth. I was never a biology teacher. It doesn't matter. It's general knowledge. I was never into that. General knowledge. You don't know what an ostrich is when you are educating the youth of America.

SPEAKER_01 52:49

Is that is that similar to an emu?

SPEAKER_00 52:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

Okay, maybe I was getting because I know what an emu is. Let me see an emu. It's like the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

Look at that. No, it's not. Large bird family. Long neck, tall bird. Of course he knows what an emu is. You got more of a chance against this than an ostrich. An emu, yeah. Maybe a fighting chance. An ostrich, absolutely not. Yeah, seeing the ostrich now.

SPEAKER_02 53:11

I'm an ostrich up. What the fuck? John. You guys are such pussies. No.

SPEAKER_00 53:19

What are you gonna do? Yeah. It's like a giraffe. The giraffe knows how to use its neck. Oh man. It's all muscle.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

There's like chicks on the internet that are uh third my size beating the shit out of ostrich. Where? What part of the internet are you on? Farmers, dude? Farmers that own ostriches, they beat the. It's actually hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 53:41

You're making these farmers, you're downplaying these farmers. These people would probably beat our asses. You're downplaying me. I'm not downplaying you. I'm underplaying an Austrian.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

I just believe in humanity. You're over here like this big dumb bird can fucking take down the human race.

SPEAKER_00 53:55

Get out of here. I think if this was the 80s humans, we'd have more of a chance. We're talking about like 2020 with more pure coconut kids.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

I mean, like the T count was higher back then. It was much higher. I'm talking meat. You get like 20 dudes off coast. Who's gonna get Smarborough? I'm doubling down that he's losing to that ostrich.

SPEAKER_00 54:17

Okay, here's another good one of Python. No. How many feet? Ten foot python. No. I got it. Okay, I'd say no. A mountain lion. No, no, no. I mean, I'm gonna No, you're not. It's gonna wrap itself around your body.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Ten feet for a python's not that big. I'm telling you, you watch these dudes online do it all the time.

SPEAKER_01 54:37

Yeah, but the thing is you don't have a weapon. You have your hands, so you're telling me you can get it behind the head. It's not like a garden gardener's. Watch the video of a dude in. Rabbit by in the back of the head.

SPEAKER_02 54:48

You're you you guys are just ignorant, man. You gotta watch more people fight animals. Guy wrestling 10 foot fight. Watch him just they just snatch him out of the water. Ten feet for a python's not that good. An invasive Burmese python. Yep. He just they'll just like literally grab him out of a bush. It'll wrap its whole arm like shit around you. It's not strong enough to kill you. It can kill small animals. And then he just beat its head off of something until it dies. Look, look at this kid. This is a child. Yeah, he's obviously experienced in this.

SPEAKER_01 55:20

Oh my gosh!

SPEAKER_02 55:22

Do you think that's gonna kill you? You are an absolute baby. Alright, that's maybe 10 feet out. Okay, I I see. I'm thinking bigger. Telling you don't watch you're you're thinking an Anaconda. One, two. Okay, maybe. You don't watch enough grown men wrestling. I don't know. I was never super into animals. I'm not into animals, but like I use serve shit like this all the time. I watch a lot of content, Sam. I'm a student of the game. On animals, though? That's what you're alchemic about. When you watch stuff, you get served stuff. Yeah, you know the dumb shit that you get served that we won't talk about here because we don't want to discredit your personnel anymore that you already did. I thought you were supposed to kill those. He just put it back. It might depend on what state he's in. Gotcha. So, but anyway, there's a ton of guys out there that they all they do is like hunt not that previously domestic pythons and stuff that got chucked in the woods in like Florida. Yeah. They'll grab him by the handfuls.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

Okay, and then feed's not that long. Okay, I I think I could take a python. 20-foot python? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:16

Now you're talking like full 12 to 20.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

You can't really get your hand on the phone. I was thinking of an anaconda. Yeah, me too. I think anaconda, no, but python, yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

Because once I get if you think about it, yeah. All right. Wait, can they bite you though? Yeah, they're not venomous. They're not venomous. By compression. Yeah. But their bite probably still hurts. By suffocation. That wouldn't feel good, but there's no way that you wouldn't be able to beat its head until it's just on like until it's mush.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

Okay, and then stomp on it with a if you got a good boot on. Lastly, a mountain lion. No. Come on, John.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

John, for God's sake. Come on now. I don't think I have what it takes to survive that. That's a gigantic cat. Especially not if it's a nittney lion. Nittany lion beat the shit out of that thing. They're not even real. Panthers all day. So sad. No, they're not real. A mountain lion can get up to what? Eight feet, it said. That's that's a lion.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

I love I was trying to see if the biggest lions on earth. Eight foot. Five to seven feet.

SPEAKER_02 57:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

Weighing 64 to 141 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 57:15

That's a lot. They're just so strong. They like I said before, they've got teeth and claws. At that weight and size, you're not.

SPEAKER_00 57:23

They're so quick, is the problem.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

Quite a disadvantage.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

They're gonna chew you up as speed and their claws really.

SPEAKER_02 57:28

They can bite you. So like that, that's like I can't bite back in a fight. You could. It's just not like it's not gonna do anything. Yeah. I'm sure they're biting. That's where like the one-dimensional animals. That's why like when you're like, I can't fight an emu, I'm like, what do you mean? You can't, it's a bird. All it can do is peck you. There's nothing diabolical.

SPEAKER_01 57:45

Yeah, if it's fast, too, you can't outrun it. No, I'm gonna I'm gonna run at it. You know what it's gonna do? Run away. I don't know. But it can't bite scratch. If you implement weapons into this, it's a whole different ballgame. Hand to hand I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 57:58

I don't know. But like so, like, I think a mountain lion gets me, unfortunately. Unfortunately. That's why I stay jacked on first form.

Sharks, Groupers, And Bird Wildcards

SPEAKER_00 58:08

Um yeah, I mean that that's all I had for the you guys have any other wild cards? So we we didn't get into any of the aquatics, guys. I think aquatics, man, you're in their environment. Yeah, like we know more about space in the ocean. Good luck. Yeah, that tells you all you need to know. A shark? Could you fight off a shark? No.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Depends on the size. Oh, yeah. No, it would be you guys ever seen a shark in person. It's the most terrifying. Like, I've got to be. I'm talking like we caught two gigantic sharks on my bachelor party. I've showed you these photos. Yeah. You're like, how was any human being alive when this existed? I've caught a hammerhead before. It was like eight feet, and that thing was terrifying. Yeah, we caught a uh, it was like a 1200-pound hammerhead, and the teeth on it are like as big as this like can.

SPEAKER_01 58:50

Yeah, down at the beach last year, there were these dudes, they were fishing for small sharks, and they would use drones to take their lines out. I've never seen anything like that before. You live a sheltered life.

SPEAKER_00 59:00

Well, you deal with uh gray whites and you start getting into like some of the bigger species that are more ferocious.

SPEAKER_02 59:05

Well, like so, so sharks aside, you still have there's like like like a giant grouper. The fish is so big. You ever seen someone catch a Goliath grouper?

SPEAKER_01 59:17

Jason was telling us about him scuba diving. He saw like an eight-foot grouper, he's like, I just got out of the water.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

It's like a giant bass, but it's so big, it can like swallow you whole. It's nuts. Nuts, and they're so powerful. Yeah, the aquatics, unfortunately, you're like but we didn't put any of them on there. What else did we miss?

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Um more of the air birds, I'm imagining. We just had an eagle, but birds are tough. Yeah, it depends on the bird.

SPEAKER_02 59:44

Because like I said, it goes back to one-dimensional fan. What about an owl? An owl? Have you ever seen that Netflix documentary on it's called the staircase? I think it's about this dude who murdered both of his wives and went to jail, but he got off on them. Right? And they come at the end, it's like the anyway. Oh wait, I did see this. The guy has a massive like unibrow. Yes, yes, yes. And he was like a an author or something. Yeah. And then after the entire episode ends, spoiler alert, it's like they did found giant owls living in the house that he like he claimed that like the wife just fell down the stairs, and like there was claw marks and blood. And they were like very indicative of owl behavior. I don't think an owl would hurt me. I'm beating an owl up. I could beat an owl up.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:29

I'm beating an owl's ass.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:30

You're afraid of an owl? A hoot owl?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:32

I'm not afraid of an owl. I'm not I respect an owl, though. You know, I respect all of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

Respecting every animal on our relationship. Put me in a room, life or death. I'm I'm banking on me.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:44

We got the next unscrewed video. We're getting an animal here. We gotta put one of these to the test here. It would be the most illegal and frowned upon thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:53

Yeah. So we gotta go to a third world country. Once again, or Florida.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

Once again, we do not condone animal violence.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:01

Or Florida.

Animal Fight Tier List Final Rankings

SPEAKER_00 1:01:02

We don't condone Florida for a lot of that stuff. Take a John there. Um all right, that leads us to our last segment. Um, the animal uh fight tier list. We're gonna put um some of the biggest and baddest animals on a list. S tier being uh they clean you up, F tier being you should win this. How does that sound?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:21

All right, I got a black bear.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:22

A.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

I yeah, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

I mean, S is 100% chance, no doubt, right? A is like you might survive. Yeah. I got a 5% chance against a black bear. I don't know what it is. I don't know what that 5% is. Just the fact that's not a grizzly. Um but I'm I'm giving it to it myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:42

I got a bobcat. A? I'd say B. Oh, wait, that's a smaller one. S tier being that Oh yeah, no, oh, sorry. It's gonna clean you up. Uh D tier being you have a chance.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:54

Maybe B. Hold on. Or C t. Yeah, no, I'm thinking Mountain Lion because it was the last cat we talked about. Yeah, I'm throwing it on C tier. Kick that bobcat's ass.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:01

A chimpanzee. A or B. I'm gonna I'm gonna say A. You're chimpanzees are gonna be tough. Even though that photo is like the least imposing. This man has so much respect for the chimps. Pull a senior photo.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:17

I got a wolf. Probably S. Like they just are built to like it's a it's a machine. A buck, a deer with antlers. I say B. C. C? It's only shot is that one ram it gets at me with his antlers. It's only chance. It gets one shot at you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:36

When it misses, do you know what? Starts hooving you. Backup? I'm being hooved right now. Someone help me.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:42

Officer, you can send backup. I'm being hooved. Come on, settle a B. B. B is more appropriate.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:50

You guys are afraid of deer.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

A bald eagle.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:53

I mean, is there a level above S?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:55

No, for you put on S. You're putting the eagle above the chin. You'd fight a bald eagle? I I wouldn't, but I'm saying you put it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:02

That's all that matters. I'd say A. You're about to be I'm gonna say S. You were about to have hands. What? Uh a goose.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:08

D.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

A good punt.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:12

Okay, we have a um a python. Size. Ten foot python. D. I'd say at least C. D. I say C. It might get you. Did you once again we just walked in?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:25

Yeah, but you put it on the same tear as a goose. The goose should be easier than the python. Even the goose, like, let's not even take fighting into account. If I see a goose, I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Look, there's a goose over there. If I saw a 10-foot python in the lottery, holy shit, there's a giant snake out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

That's just because you're not used to seeing giant snakes.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

I am. Anyway. Yeah, I don't know about the next one, Joe.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:46

Um, we have a coyote.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:49

Coyotes. B. Yeah, that's fair. Like, I feel like there's once again they're bred to keep.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

We have a moose.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

Uh S. I don't think a human. I just think the sheer size of a moose in a human. It's just like, what are you gonna do? It's too big.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:08

We have a hippo.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:09

And again, a moose doesn't it doesn't have like it's its horn, its antlers are different. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

We can agree on a hippo at S yeah. Um we have a this is a mountain lion.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:24

That that the only chance I got against a mountain lion is the terrain and potentially chucking that thing off a cliff. That's why I give myself a 5% A tier chance.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:35

I mean, I'm going S, but I'll I'll I'll find it. You might have to jump off the cliff with it lashed on. I was waiting for like something that could happen. You're like, well, my only chance would be if I chuck it off the hill.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:47

How's that happen? I feel like it, I feel like it's another one of those animals that like you hit that with everything you got. It's not even phasing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:54

Yeah. Okay, I got a grizzly bear. Same S. A kangaroo.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:00

B I'd say. Okay, look at that neck. That neck is I'm saying it's a one, it's a one-dimensional fighter, once again. It's only got one move. It's gonna and it hit you.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:11

I'd say B tier. I guess it does have shorter. I'm gonna go B tier just based off of its claws. We have a sm medium-sized dog, 50 pounds and under.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:20

D. D, like obviously.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:23

Wow. Large sized dog, aggressive breeds.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:27

We're getting up to B, if you ask me. I mean, I'm talking like those like Rhodesian Raz Bridge back. Like those things, those things will tear you out. Might as well be bears. Yeah. Small bears.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:39

You gotta kill something else because those things will just go. They don't have a shut off. No, though they're gonna die trying to kill you. Trying to kill you. They will die before they yeah. They don't feel pain. No. I got a wild boar.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:50

That's gotta be A tier. Yeah, I agree with that. Once again, like you gotta get super lucky, but it's impervious to humans.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:55

Um I'm just waiting for him to click on the next one, I know. We have a house cat.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

I thought you did the ostrich.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:03

House cat's D. Yeah, D. We have an ostrich.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:06

Also D. C. C T. I'm putting a house cat and an ostrich in the same category.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:11

I'd say ostrich is above the house cat. That's fair. Look at what's on the D tier, John. That's a goose on the ostrich. Is it on the same tier as those?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

I just want it on there because Sam's afraid of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:22

And last but not least, we have the one, the only Silverback Gorilla.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:27

Unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:28

You conceded to S. We made progress today.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:31

We never said that John Maleki one-on-one could support the game.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:33

I think that deserves someone subscribing to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:36

You should probably subscribe because I don't think my ego is big enough that I could fight a grizzly bear or silverback gorilla one-on-one. I need at least 10 of me.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:44

I am happy we made progress today. I feel like we are changed people.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:48

I feel changed after I had to have surgery on a body part. It made me really feel like I'm not invincible anymore. 40's coming in hot, boys.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:56

Oh. Sam's almost there. Coming in hot. He's almost closer to 40 than he is 30 or 20. Look at that. You technically are close. Yeah, you are. You're technically closer.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:06

So the day you hit 30. 30, you'll be closer to 40. But I'm not there yet.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:11

Not yet. Coming soon. Can't catch me, Father.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:14

Technically, yeah. Technically, because it's it's what? Yeah, it's the end of April. So you have six months. Exactly. Left. That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:22

I feel the way. I feel like when I hit 40, that'll be my prime. I know.

Aging, Humility, And The Closing Plug

SPEAKER_02 1:07:25

As slow as it takes you to get into the day, it's probably as slow as it's going to take you to get into life. Wow. Wow. That's crazy. He's going to have a great back end while I'm in a journey. So like take the joke for whatever you want, but I'm gel. That's jealousy. I'll roll your ass. Put it out of my mouth. I'm going to be wheelchair bound. Sam's going to be hitting his peak. I'm well past mine. With that being said, we've yet to hit our peak on this show because you guys have not subscribed or shared it with your worst enemy or best friend. So please, it's the best way to support us and what we do. You can check out all of our episodes early on the Builder Bunker as well as extended cuts, all kinds of good stuff over there. Um, if you do like what we're doing here, if you got suggestions, leave them down below. And with that being said, we will see you on the next show. Peace. Thank you.